Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

Yes.

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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