Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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You smell like shit

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women outside of the kitchen

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

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What's red and u drink it Koolaid

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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