- Anti Joke

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

Knock knock Come In.......

Women

Your mom.

"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??