What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

Womens Rights.

Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

What did the man bring home from Africa? AIDS.

What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

Why did the chicken cross the road it didn't, it was hit by a bus.

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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