Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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Wats a joke?

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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Canada

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

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69

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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