a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

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what do snozberries taste like? Lama

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Please spell dyslexia.

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Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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Q: Why don't gingers have souls? A:Ginger is a root that consumed whole as a delicacy, medicine, or spice. Why would it have a soul?

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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whats red and falls from a tree an apple

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Why do black people suck? Because they're black

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imadewords

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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NASCAR

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Wade's the father

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Why was the man sad His son got raped

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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