Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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