man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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