What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Anne Frank.

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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balls in ya mouf

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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