A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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no u

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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