Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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I came.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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American Idol

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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