What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

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cot!

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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Your Mom

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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