Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

What's your name? You tell me.

Women Drivers.

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

9/11

your momma is so stupid she failed math class

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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