How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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What break when you talk?

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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This joke isnt funny.

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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