An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

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Indeed.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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Windows Vista

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops