Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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