whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops