Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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