"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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My cat just died.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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