What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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i saw amango it splootered

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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