What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops