A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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