There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the old man die? He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

9/11 my birthday

thumb_up thumb_down

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops