Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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BIG MAC'S

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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