Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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A house comes around the corner.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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