What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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