Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

Knock Knock.

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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