YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

guess what? bannanas

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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