roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the old man die? He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Female Orgasms

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You having friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops