Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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