two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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