- Anti Joke

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

Tunechi

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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