A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Feminism.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops