What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

why do black people hate school? because they have to sit and learn like the rest of us for hours on end

An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

This is sparta No this is patrick

Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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