What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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