Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops