Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Faithful men.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops