Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +4

NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops