A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where's Wally? In a children's book.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops