Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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