You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

Are you gay. No. Ok.

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

I have a horse.

What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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