Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Jimmy Saville

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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