Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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