Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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