What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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