whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

What's stupid a light bulb.

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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