whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

thumb_up thumb_down +7

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's stupid a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops