Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Gay rights.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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