Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

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Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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REHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHAB

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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