Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Military intelligence.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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What's 9 +10 19

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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