Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Grace Ackerson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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