How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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