Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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