How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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