Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

In my country we don't swim, we drown.

I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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