What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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9/11 my birthday

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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