Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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