Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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HEY!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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A man was shot. He died.

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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