how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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Double-whammy

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No soup for you!

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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