Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Yanter, Look it up

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Frontbut-

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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