What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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A jew enters a mall.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops