A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +5

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops