Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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What do you say to a rock? Meow

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops