How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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A man walks into a bar.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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