A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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I <3 Hitler

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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if a dog eats a hot dog what will happen? (leave a comment to find out)

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LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops