Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Why did jim all I over? He dies

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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