- Anti Joke

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

Why couldnt the boy hang out with his friend? because when he called his friend to ask him to hang out he had badd cel phone service. so he went to the other room to call him on his landline but unfortunately his parents have had a rough month at work and therfore could not pay the bill and having there phone lines cut off. this left his only option to mail him a letter asking if he wanted to hang out. he spent about 4 hours writing the 10 page letter asking his friend if he wanted to hang out. when he was finished writing the letter, he went to the drwer to find an envelope and a stamp. unfortunately no envelopes or stamps could be found. so the boy had to walk down town to the post office to pick some up. he had to walk bc since his parents have been having a rough time at work, theyve been working extra hours to help put food on the table and give their son the educaion he needs to become succesful in his life. wen he gets back from the post office with the supplies he needed to mail the letter, he put it in the mail box and put the flag up. but the mail had alreeady come that day so he had to wait tilll monday for the letter to be deliverd since tommorow was sunday and everyone knows that the mail does not come on mondays. when the mail came, the mailman took the letter and eventually deliverd it. he knew it was deliverd bc he traveld online but since there was no internet connection because of his parents failing to pay the bill, he had to go to the library to use the computer. the boy waited a week but his friend never wrote back. so his only other option to find out if his friend wanted to hang out was to simply walk over to his house and ask him in person. since the boy was a little impatient and hess been waiting several day for an answer, he decided to run over instead of walk. as he was approaching his friends house, instead of walking all the way around the road to walk on the cross walk he figured it would take alot less time to just cross the road right then and there. as he stepped onto the road a huge bus sped right by him, almost hitting him. this startled the boy. the boy walked up to his friends door, knocked, and the boy answerd. he asked if he wanted to hang out and his friends said no, pushed him into the street, and the boy was hit by a drunk driver. the boy was rushed to the hospital where they barely just saved his life. although his life was saved he was forced to live on life suppport for the rest of his life. 3 months into being on life support, the same friend came to visit him in the hospital. his friend says, u wanna no why i didnt wanna hang out with you? and the boy said yes. so his friend says "well...." the friend then pull the plug on the boys life support and the boy dies

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: starts to laugh Yeah...that's a funny cup.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

eat a hot dog

A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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