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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

If you were a cactus, why?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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