The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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here's a joke... the american education society

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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