NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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