What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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