Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

2 + 2 = 4

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...