I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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y u no like me joke?

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Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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69

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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