What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

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how did the man with the gun die? obesity

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops