If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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69

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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