Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

So a seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yah? Well your a ********

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops