A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

what happens when you wake up inception

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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