Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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G

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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