Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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pussy enough said

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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